A Trans-Touchy Subject

First off, I'm going to try to handle this topic with care because it's one you can't just research to understand, you have to be in the skin of the person who knows.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard about the Chaz Bono controversy on Dancing With The Stars. For this post, I think it's best to leave out the homosexual aspect of transgender people because it will make my points more confusing and isn't necessary.

Society has clear definitions of male and female: the male has XY chromosomes, the female XX and both have corresponding genitalia. What makes us male or female isn't just based on how we look; it's sewn into every cell of our bodies. There's no changing it. Then we have the categories of men and women, which used to be synonymous with male and female, but the once black and white groupings have been blurred to create a gray area.

For example, there is no right or wrong to being female, you just are or are not, but society tells us there are degrees of being a woman or man. Men are still the primary breadwinners; they chop wood and fix leaking pipes. Women still typically cook and clean and wear clothes that show off our curves and cleavage. So if you are a man that can't mow the lawn or even grow a good beard for example, you are seen as less of a man. I respect this system, but I also resent it at the same time. I love being a woman in every aspect, but it does get old to be categorized by my gender.

This brings me back around to the transgender topic. The message of this decade seems to be love yourself the way you were born; it's okay to be different unless you're genuinely a crappy person or have different ideologies. My first instinct is to say that having ten and up surgeries to outwardly change who you are, physically, is going against this love your body lecture. In fact, most plastic surgery brings to question the idea of self-hate and if it's "right". However, changing one's gender seems like a much higher degree of non-acceptance than just a nosejob. Thinking deeper though, men or women that have these procedures say that since childhood they have felt like the other gender, which I'll admit is a hard concept for everyone else to grasp. After all, how do they know what being the opposite gender is like? A five year old boy can wear his mother's heels and lipstick, but he can't say from then on he wants to be a woman; there is so much more to it than that. Just like a 13 year old girl still has yet to learn what being a woman means. At this time, I would pull the period and having babies card, but being a woman goes beyond that as well!

This is where I start to get testy (definitly no pun intended, sorry :( ). I truly believe that no matter how many times women and men communicate there will still be a lack of understanding of the opposite gender. Yes, we're equal, but we're not always alike. Men that want to be women that think all it takes is to have surgeries and inject estrogen everyday will never have an idea of what it's truly like to be a woman. So it upsets me that because they have a new pair of breasts and cry a lot, they think they know what it's like; it's not all about make-up, frilly tops and heels (technically, it's sexist to think so).

I feel sad because I wish they could have been born the way they wanted. I wish I was born with blue eyes, but instead got these big ol' cow eyes. And women wanting to be men can change themselves on the outside to match how they feel on the inside and if they think they understand men good for them, but I still think men are an enigma.

People that take on these procedures, I'm sure, are scared of such a big transition and despite their gender, hair color, nose, breasts, etc. God loves them. I'm not saying go out and be friends with every transgender person; I'm saying don't care. I don't care that Chaz Bono is on television. I don't think it's going to screwup children; I thought Michael Jackson was a woman when I was young and here I stand, still a little confused, but a functioning human being none the less. I think that so many people (maybe just the media????) making such a big deal about it is the real big deal.

All in all, I'm trying to make a larger statement; I'm more of a black and white kind of person. It doesn't make me bad or hateful. Gray area distresses me, always has. It seems like every mainstream thought like "love yourself" has to be given 100 exceptions like 'love yourself only after you've had surgery to become the real you'. What do you agree or disagree with?

This Might Sound Snobby, But...

Guys/Kanye West throw around the term "gold digger" all the time, referring to a woman who marries for riches, not love. Personally, I would never marry a man for his money if I didn't love him. If he had a job that paid well say as a CEO or physicist and THEN I fell in love with him it's not my fault that he just happened to be in a very nice financial situation. Of course, it always looks more honorable if a woman marries the geeky highschool sweetheart and then he becomes the next Bill Gates; that woman's just a lucky ho.

Guys also need to understand that while most girls aren't gold diggers some of us are already aquainted with a certain lifestyle, which is completely our parent's fault. Sooo sorry our moms took us to William Sonoma and Neiman Marcus since we were four. I know I'm setting women back 50 years by saying this, but the first time I saw that pastel pink mixer with matching bowls and spatula from William Sonoma I was going to marry a man who could maintain that level of class in our home dammit. Even when my mother took me to Target or Walgreens I would still have to come home and try not to touch the Waterford crystal vases and gold laced Lennox plates.

Would I be happy living in a shack if it were with the man of my dreams? Of course, but it's safe to say the man of my dreams won't be a loser and I plan on working so with combined incomes I should at least expect a quaint and stylish abode. Stylish because the Martha Stewart collections are sold at KMart (spelling?) and Macy's. I love Martha. Peace out.

A Heavenly Inquiry

As a Christian, I believe in heaven obviously, but regardless of how people get there, we don't know what to expect when we actually arrive. Apparently, heaven is absolute paradise. So I'm wondering if that means a general paradise. For instance, a soft sandy beach in front of a vast ocean of Brita filtered water, silver clouds and lounge chairs with velvet cushions. Who wouldn't think that's paradise? Or would heaven be more subjective? My idea of paradise would probably be a beach in front of aqua colored water off a fresh water lake in the Scottish Highlands, but without the seasonal snow and rain. I would want a large cabana with many hammocks and an endless supply of Cheez-its, cookies, white russians and chicken wings. I would also need my family and friends on hands for endlessly fun activities.

However, since we are all supposed to be "perfect" in heaven, I'm guessing we won't be confined by earthly senses and desires. For example, heavenly inhabitants will always be happy with the way heaven smells; we won't get to heaven and be upset that it smells like apple pie and snap our fingers so it smells like vanilla. So would we get to partake in our favorite things from earth? It's hard to imagine a place where every simple thing is so perfect (walking, communicating) we might not need anything else to be completely happy.

Also, if everyone is going to be the best versions of themselves does that mean the people that are genuinly annoying, loud, arrogant, bitchy etc. still going to be that way? My thoughts are they will be just no one will judge them for it.

The pastor that "confirmed" me told my class that our bodies will be so flawless we won't even recognize our spouse, friends or siblings. What he said kind of makes sense, but that's a difficult thought to deal with. He makes heaven sound like a lonely and unfamiliar place. Our question back was why would God gift us with people we say we can't live without to only take that away after we die?

No doubt, heaven will be an amazing place, but it is only natural to be skeptical and filled with anxiety thinking about one of the largest and generalized topics of all time.